Me and AustinI faltered @ 1:59 p.m. on 01-05-02
Last night I wrote a long entry on what happened with me and Austin, but my daughter accidentally erased it. So I will just keep it short. Austin put me in the middle of his arguement with his parents so they would turn on me, and let him off the hook. Whatever they suck. What really pisses me off is that they would say the most rediculous nonsense. Austins mother actually had the nerve to say that I breastfeed my daughter for sexual reasons. Heh! Fucking weirdo! This was coming from a woman that told her teenage son every detail of her sex life. Whatever, I don't need that drama. It has become tedious and boring. At first I thought I hated Austin for stabbing me in the back, but now I feel nothing but pity for him and his sick family. I still love him, you can't just turn your feelings off so soon. However being with him isn't whats good for me the kids or even him. If he is going to get some help and staighten his life then he needs to do it on his own. All this time I kept going back to him, which made me an enabler. Only he can decide when he wants to get out of this abusive life of his. No he never hit me or the kids, but he and his family were emotionally and mentally abusive with their mind games and threats. I hope they all get help. They hurt anyone they can because they are unhappy. Well O won't be like that. I will be the bigger person and ignore their comments and insults. The kids need me to be a stable adult, so that is what I will try my hardest to be.