I need a lifeI faltered @ 8:38 p.m. on 01-20-02
Eh nothing truely important happened today. No surprise there. I'm starting feel as though I have nothing to look forward to. I have no boyfriend, no job, no friends, just two wonderful kids that deserve better than what I have to give. I want to put them in daycare so I can start work, but I am so scared how that will affect Avi. She is so attached to me, so dependent on only me. She refused to eat the last time she went to Austins. How can I put her through that on a daily basis? I have to though. I can no longer live like this. I have to get out of the house. I need to work, and make money and possibly friends. The kids need to be around other children, it would be good for them. Being at home every day is starting to make me so depressed. It makes me remember how different my real home (Mass) is from Florida. How I used to have friends, and everything was in walking distance. I am getting homesick again. I am becoming unhappy again. Something needs to change.