My Anxiety.I faltered @ 12:55 p.m. on 06-17-02
Well today I have to call daycare centers to set up an appointmment to go check them out for the kids. I HATE calling places, I absolutely hate it. I managed to call one without having an anxiety attack, but I still feel freaked out. Anyone reading this probably thinks I'm a nut case, but I have pretty bad anxiety when it comes to having to speak to people I don't know.
Actually I have pretty bad anxiety when it comes to most things. I always had a hard time making friends in school because of this. I was always scared I would say something stupid, and everyone would hate me. I also had seperation anxiety. I hated being away from my mom, I was always scared something would happent to her. I am that way now with my kids.
I hate that I'm like this, I wish I could be as confident as other people, I'm just not. I hate that it takes me 15 minutes to work up the nerve to call my friends. I hate that feel sick to the stomach at the idea of calling a stranger to make an appointment. I hate that no one seems to understand what I'm talking about when it comes to this.
I can't believe I let myself get so upset over making a damn phone call. I feel like such a freak.